Week Ten

Halfway House, Classics, Mental Health & Thanks

I found out the news I have been waiting for. In 155 days I will be heading out of here and to the halfway house.  The sad thing is, I am worried more about the halfway house than I was coming here.  I have turned all of my worries over to God though, and am letting him stress about it.  I was told there is a chance that I will just have to check in for a couple of days and then be home on home confinement.  I will be able to go back to work, and best of all be home with my babies.  I am not going to count days anymore, it seems too far away, so instead I will count chicken days.  Every Thursday we have chicken for lunch, so I now have 22 chicken days left before I go home.  My family is so ready for me to come home, my parents have taken my two adorable (or monster, depending on who you talk to) dachshunds over to their house since they are home more than my girls.  On day one, Hero, the hunter, killed two feral kittens that the momma cat had moved under my parents shed. I feel bad for the poor little kittens, but Hero was just following his instincts…small..run..prey!

I have moved over to the Inspirational Fiction section of the library the last few weeks and have read some very good books. Today, my Bunkie was reading something that mentioned a scarlet letter.  She did not know what it was referring to, so I told her the story, the best I could, from memory.  There is a classic section in the library and I am going to look there today.  Hopefully they will have the book so I can re-read it, but if not, I am going to try to find some others that I had always heard about but never read.

I read an article the other day that said over 80% of women in the prison system have been abused in one way or another which has resulted in mental issues or suffer from a mental disorder.  It also stated that there is not a lot being done about these issues.  This is something that I can totally agree with.  Coming in, I was taken off of my anxiety medicine, and told that I did not need it anymore, I probably just needed it while I was getting ready to come here.  Then, for 3 weeks, did not get my antidepressant, first being told that the prescription had been written out incorrectly, and then after having a nurse and the psychologist ask about it, still did not receive anything.  It wasn’t until I came back from my trip to the hospital and met with the other doctor, that he put me on something.  Besides that, and the few classes they have here (which are all inmate taught), there is really nothing available.  I met with the psychologist when I first came in, and was very honest with her about my past issues, and was told that if I felt I wanted to meet with the psychiatrist, he only comes once a month (for 400 women).  If you are recovering from drug or alcohol issues, there are lots of resources available, but not for the mental health side of it, just throw some pills at it and hope they go away.  If they are going to treat women and get them ready to be a productive member of society, they need to really work on their mental health care.  I am determined to get my head where it belongs and plan to take advantage of every little thing they offer, I just wish there was more available.

I just want to give a big thanks for the letters, post cards, puzzles (even attempts that didn’t make it past the mail room) and magazines.  Every little thing helps make the days go by faster.  I am in the process of writing everyone back, I just hope they can read my writing, since I do not have access to the internet.

I hope everyone has a great week.  I start one (maybe two) more classes this week and am looking forward to them.

22 Chicken Days and counting!



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