I realized as I was getting ready to type, that this was the end of week 16 and there are 16 more chicken days, so I am at the halfway point! I can look at every day now as one day closer to the end…I am coming down the hill and in the final stretch. I am still holding out a little bit of hope on something happening to get me out of here sooner, but if not, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, it is still far away, and kind of dim, but it is there.
Part of the reason I started this blog was to help people who are coming here, and their families know what to expect. This weekend, we had something happen at visitation, that should not have happened. First, if you come to visit someone, make sure you are totally approved before you get here. Second, DO NOT BRING ANYTHING in with you. DO NOT try to sneak in something to the person you are visiting, and if they ask you to, say NO! On Sunday, while I was enjoying the last little bit of my time visiting with my girls, visitation was ended abruptly, an hour early, and all visitors had to leave immediately. Add to losing part of our time, a pat down on our way out (I should be happy it wasn’t a strip search). Why? Because someone tried to sneak in something to an inmate. There are several stories as to what it was, so I am not going to repeat the rumors, but the inmate was taken to the County jail and will probably lose her camp status and good time. What that means, is she will probably spend the rest of her sentence “behind the fence”, at a real prison. To top it off, the person who tried to sneak in the items will have charges pressed against him too. It is not worth it. So I repeat, if you come to visit anyone here, DO NOT BRING ANYTHING in with you.
I was listening to the radio again this week and one song kept playing. I kept listening for another song, because the message of this song is hard, but it kept playing, over and over. I still kept thinking I would use another song, one of my favorites had just played, when my Bunkie came back from her church service. I asked her how it was, like I always do, and she said it was great. The message was about how to trust in God, even if there are mountains in your way. I told God, okay, I get it, this is the song this week. I can be a little hard headed sometimes. Bunkie does not know about my blog, and the songs, and had no clue that the chorus to the song I have been debating with God about the last few days, starts off with “When you don’t move the mountains, I’m needing you to move”. The name of the song is “Trust in You” by Lauren Daigle. Apparently I have been told very clearly that this is the song I need to think about this week. I wish some other things that I am waiting on signs about were so clear.
I heard about something that a friend has been doing to help out my girls, and wanted to cry. The kindness and caring she has shown is wonderful. It did give me a chance to think about all of the good things people have done for my family while I have been here, and I appreciate every one of them. I also spent some time mourning the friendships I have lost over the last couple of years, during all of this. I lost some friendships that meant a lot to me, some that I worked with and talked to daily, sometimes for hours during the day. I understand, but it still makes me sad to lose those that I was so close with. I am so ready to come home, mend fences and get my life together and restarted. I have been making changes here, but until I can put them to work in the real world, they are not doing me a lot of good.
All of the new classes start this coming week, so I have lots to look forward to, also lots of homework, especially in my Threshold class. The homework in there is hard, not because of the amount, but the inner searching that we have to do. I have had to do a lot of thinking about every aspect of my life in here, and it is not always pretty and it is not easy.
Goal update: As of Sunday, 10/16/16 I have walked 97 laps which equal 30 miles (actually need half a lap to hit 30, but rounded up for this). That leaves 228 laps & 70 miles to go in 19 days. I better get walking!
Have a great week!
16 more chicken days!
7 more visit weekends!
4 more blanket exchanges!