Week Twenty

Good Morning, The Dentist & I’m Okay

Twenty weeks are done, the holidays are coming and I am trying very hard not to get depressed about not being with my family.  I have set up a video chat for Thanksgiving day, so hopefully I will get to see a lot of them at the family dinner.  It is amazing how much you can miss people and realize how much you did not appreciate them.

We had a long conversation this week about people saying good morning.  It always amazes me, as I walk my grumpy, half awake self to the bathroom, how many good mornings I get from the ladies around me.  At 6:00am, every weekday, the kitchen duty officer announces “mainline is open” (breakfast is served).  We have some that start the announcement with Good Morning, and others that just say mainline is open and hang up the intercom.  Most mornings that is the first voice we hear, and the nice Good Morning goes a long way.  Even for us non-morning people, just those two little words seem to mean a lot.

On Monday, something terrible for me happened….my filling fell out.  I have this terrible fear of the dentist.  I don’t know why, I actually had a really nice dentist growing up, but as soon as I even start thinking about going in to see one, my anxiety level goes through the roof.  As a matter of fact, the last time I had a root canal and some other dental work, I went to a sedation dentist, who knocked me out and took care of everything.  Here, if you have a dental issue, you have to go to dental sick call.  Unfortunately, it is not open on Tuesdays, so I had to wait until Wednesday morning.  One of my friends joked around and said she would go with me and hold my hand, and when another friend (who is a lot more street wise and tough) heard the conversation, she said there was no way anyone was going with me, I am in prison and need to toughen up and deal with it.  It doesn’t sound very nice, but she is actually a good friend, and had a point.  It is time to toughen up.  I did say a prayer, took a lot of deep breaths and survived dental sick call.  The x-ray showed there was no infection (and I am in no pain, just have a big hole in my tooth), so they said they would call me back in this week to fix it.  I have been doing a good job of staying calm, just need to keep doing that when I actually get in there to get it fixed.

Well it happened again.  Apparently, some of the families of inmates here need to read my blog.  During my visit on Sunday with Gabbi, someone tried to sneak something in again, got caught, inmate went to County Jail and I am pretty sure her visitor did too.  Was it really worth it?  Now the whole camp is on edge waiting to find out if we have lost visits again.  With the holiday coming up, it was very selfish of this person to put the whole camp at risk.  I feel really bad for the girl across the hall from me.  She is the one whose mom was flying down last time this happened to visit her on her birthday.  This weekend is the makeup visit, and we may end up losing it too.  So I will say it again, if anyone comes here to visit a family, friend, etc, DO NOT bring anything with you.  Whether you think you are being nice, or they ask you….DON’T DO IT.

I’m fine, I’m okay….those are the answers I always gave if anyone asked how I was doing.  I could have been at the worst moment of my life, but I never wanted anyone to know it, so I would always tell them I was fine.  The song this week, “When I’m With You” by Citizen Way talks about not being okay and that it is okay to let the real you come out.  It is really neat to be walking the track, hearing the song on the radio through my headphones and then having someone walk by me singing the same song.   Speaking of walking the track, now that the sun goes down earlier, there have been more little critters coming out of the woods and walking around the grass near the track (not too close).  Last night, I spotted 1 armadillo (he was so cute), two raccoons and two small foxes (that was cool, I have never seen one in the wild).  It is nice to be near nature and see all of the creatures come out to visit.

Have a great week!
Julie

12 more chicken days!
5 more visit weekends!
3 more blanket exchanges!

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