Week Thirty One

Just a Little Bit Longer

I was walking the other night and an announcement came on that tickets for Rod Stewart’s concert in Tampa, in July, went on sale that day.  I started thinking how nice it would be to go to it, and actually got excited at the idea.  As I kept walking, I realized how long it has been since I have truly been excited about anything.  I have gone through life, day by day, week by week, situation by situation.  I have been happy when it is time to be happy, sad & depressed the rest of the time, but never really appreciating the happy times or any of the times.  I am not sure if this makes sense or not, but I honestly can’t remember the last time I have been truly excited and appreciated life.  I am making a turn, and although it will not be easy, I am going to have a good life once I get through all of this.  Rod Stewart was my first concert ever, I was a senior in high school, and the (way too old for me) boy down the street, who I had a crush on for ages took me.  I had the best time.  I went to see Rod Stewart again about 10 years ago, and as much as I love Rod, and his concert was great, I couldn’t get truly excited about it.  I think I am going to find a way to go see the concert this year.  I am sure I can find a friend that will enjoy it as much as I will, if not, I know I can drag one of my girls to it.  It is something to look forward to as well as other plans that I am making for my life.  I know when I get home, a lot of things will change, some with me, some with others and some just the type of relationship others have had in my life.  It is time to finally put me first, I am worth something and will remember that when I get home.  I will need to remember to keep the negatives out of my life and focus on the positives and being the best I can be.  All of this will make me a better mother and better person in the end.

I can now officially say….next week I am leaving.  I am still dreading the halfway house, but it is closer to home, and since I have a job & house, I should be able to go home on weekend passes pretty quickly.  I will just do there what I have done here, be positive, follow the rules, and get out (and home) as quick as possible.  I cannot wait to spend a night back in my bed, with my girls in the house and my 3 year old and dachshund snuggled up with me.  I will work on getting him back into his own bed after the first few days, but in the beginning, he will have every minute of mommy time I can give him.  I will appreciate every moment I have with my children, and take advantage of every second I have them at my side.  I will probably drive my girls crazy the first few days, but I don’t think they will mind.  I am going to keep my first few trips home quiet.  It is not that I don’t want to see any of my friends, but I want to take the time to readjust to everything slowly.

It has been interesting as my time is winding down here.  After 7 months I have made some very good friends that I will miss tremendously.  At no point in my life did I ever think my main circle of friend would include lawyers, bankers, heads of medical groups, an executive assistant for a very interesting person, a former super model & a drug dealer.  This experience has opened my eyes to the rest of the world, and taught me how to interact with all types of personalities, which also should help make me a better person in the end.  I am trying to do as much as possible this last week to keep my mind busy.  My mom sent me a Sudoku book with 950 puzzles in it the week of Christmas (I think she got tired of me telling her every couple of weeks that I was out of puzzles) and told me she didn’t think I would be able to finish it before I left.  I may not finish all 950, but I just passed puzzle 400 so you never know.  I am looking at it as a challenge now.

Have a great week!  Next week will be my last post from here…then starts the fun at halfway house.
Julie

Last Chicken Day this Thursday!
No more visits!
Last Blanket Exchange this Wednesday!

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