I went out and walked for about 45 minutes this morning, and then came back in and laid in bed. One of the girls across from me asked why I was being so lazy, and I told her that in 3 weeks, I will be back in the real world, working 40 hours a week, and I was going to be totally lazy from now until when I leave (minus my walking of course). Then it hit me, I am going to be back in the real world, behind my desk, working, in 3 weeks…it is amazing how scared I was for a couple of minutes. I have gotten so used to not having to be responsible for anything the last 7 months, and now it is all coming back. I have not had to cook, plan a meal, wash dishes, grocery shop, pay a bill, do laundry, or take care of my little guy all of this time. The girls, however, have been nice enough to have some arguments that I have had to referee while I am here, so I still have practice at that. It is amazing how fast you get used to being “institutionalized”, on a schedule (to a point) with everything taken care of for you. The idea of being back in an office, working with a team and with clients is a tad bit overwhelming, but I am going to a place that I love, with people who care about me, and am very excited about getting back in there. The little things, like not having touched Excel in 7.5 months scared me, but then I remembered, I will be fine. I know my stuff, I just have to get back in there and do it.
I have been going through my locker and it surprised me how I came in with nothing, and now am trying to get rid of things so I don’t have to take them with me. My one friend (the one who gave me the boots) will be the recipient of most of the stuff I am leaving behind. She is actually going to be at the same halfway house, but a couple of months later. I realized how lucky I am to have a family, home and job to go home to. She is homeless & jobless when she gets out, so I feel good being able to at least leave her a few things to help her out. It really is sad to hear some of the ladies’ stories here. Most of the ones without support have drug backgrounds, it is not their first time here or someplace like this, and I just hope and pray for them that they do get the support when they get out, so they don’t end up back here.
I have given up on my smile project. I am still trying, but not going out of my way anymore. I have determined that some officers here are just plain grumpy. Others, now smile and say hi, so I am going to be happy with what I have accomplished. I am still trying to compliment them when I can, and just overall be friendly.
I have been watching my wildlife at night. Foxes, pigs, armadillos, raccoons & bats all make for some fun watching. Not everyone is as impressed with them as I am. I will say, after finishing the Hannibal Lector series (by Thomas Harris, I never saw the movies), I am not going to look at the pigs the same ever again. I have moved onto Lee Child’s Jack Reacher series, which I am enjoying very much. Thanks to my brother, who knows how much I love Star Wars and sent me the book, I read the Han Solo Trilogy (the stories of his life before he met up with Luke in Star Wars) and enjoyed them very much. I am so bummed that I missed the new movie, and can’t wait for it to come out on DVD once I am home.
Have a great week!
2 more chicken days!
0 more visit weekends!
1 more blanket exchange!